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When the city falls

What do you do when something you thought was solid suddenly collapses? In this message, we look at the opening of Lamentations and the biblical practice of lament. When life falls apart (your health, relationships, dreams, or certainty) God invites you not to pretend, but to be honest. This is a message about faith in crisis, grief without shame, and the kind of hope that doesn’t rush through pain. If you’ve ever asked, “How can this be?” this message is for you.

 

 

Opening Prayer

Begin by inviting the Holy Spirit to guide your discussion and give you courage to be honest about your grief and questions before God.

Ice Breaker (5-10 minutes)

Share a time when something you thought was certain and solid suddenly wasn't. This could be something small or significant. How did you initially respond?

Key Takeaways from the Sermon

  1. Lament is not weakness - It's actually a sign of strength in our faith and trust in God
  2. Lament is not unbelief - It's asking "how?" when we know God is good
  3. Lament is grief spoken toward God - You don't cry out to someone you don't believe hears you
  4. When we don't grieve, we don't heal - Skipping lament leads to numbness, hardened hearts, and cynicism
  5. God is not afraid of your grief - God remains present even when everything falls apart

Discussion Questions

Understanding Lament (15-20 minutes)

  1. Why do you think our culture (and even our churches) struggle with lament? What messages have you received about expressing grief or doubt in your faith journey?

  2. The pastor said, "We teach people how to behave faithfully, but not always how to grieve faithfully." Do you agree? What would it look like for the church to do better at this?

  3. Read Psalm 13 together. What do you notice about how the psalmist speaks to God? How does this challenge or affirm your understanding of prayer?

Personal Reflection (20-25 minutes)

  1. The sermon asked: "What has fallen in you?" Take a moment of silence (2-3 minutes) for personal reflection. Then, if comfortable, share what has "fallen" in your life - a dream, relationship, certainty, version of yourself, or sense of security.

  2. The pastor shared his own "how" moment when he asked his wife, "Do I have cancer?" Have you had a moment when something traumatic finally became "real" to you, even after dealing with it for a while? What was that like?

  3. What are some of the ways we try to "skip over" grief? Have you seen yourself do this? What were the consequences?

Applying Lamentations (20-25 minutes)

  1. The sermon mentioned several corporate "how long?" questions:

    • How long will we endure unjust policies?
    • How long will greed control our impulses?
    • How long will we be numb to God's presence?

    Which of these (or others) resonates most with you right now? Why?

  2. "God is not interested in your performance or theatrics. God is interested in the honesty of your heart." What would change in your prayer life if you truly believed this?

  3. The pastor used the analogy of a home inspector finding hidden problems in a new house. What "hidden cracks" might be in your spiritual life that need honest attention rather than being painted over?

Practical Applications

This Week's Challenge (Choose one or more)

Option 1: Write Your Own Lament

  • Set aside 20-30 minutes this week to write your own honest lament to God
  • Use the structure: "How long, Lord...?" or "How can this be...?"
  • Don't try to fix it or end with a neat bow - just be honest
  • Consider sharing it with a trusted friend or this group next week

Option 2: Practice Honest Prayer

  • Each day this week, spend 5 minutes in completely honest prayer
  • No performance, no "right words" - just truth
  • Tell God what has fallen, what hurts, what confuses you
  • Journal about what this experience is like

Option 3: Create Space for Others to Lament

  • Reach out to someone you know is grieving
  • Instead of offering explanations or clichés, simply ask: "How are you really doing?"
  • Practice being present without trying to fix anything
  • Listen for their "how" moments

Option 4: Study Lamentations

  • Read one chapter of Lamentations each day this week
  • Notice the honesty, the pain, and where God appears in the text
  • Journal your observations and your own responses

Accountability & Prayer (15-20 minutes)

  1. Share which practical application you'll commit to this week. Consider pairing up for accountability.

  2. Prayer Exercise: Honest Lament Together

    • The leader begins: "God, we bring our 'how' moments to you..."
    • Invite group members to briefly speak their "how" questions aloud (one sentence each)
    • No need to explain or justify - just speak the question
    • After everyone who wishes to share has done so, close with: "Lord, you hear our cries. Even when the city falls, you remain. Amen."